i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize