you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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