I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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