drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
