I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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