After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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