may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
