Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
