I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
