Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
