I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.