cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who