There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's official drugs can't kill me
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
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Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..