My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize