Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.

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(248): I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness. http://tfl.nu/dved

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(716): View more from New York

i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control

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(716): i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control http://tfl.nu/09xh

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(970): View more from Colorado

Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.

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(970): Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass. http://tfl.nu/mex7

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(702): View more from Nevada

jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.

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(702): jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working. http://tfl.nu/9tde

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(917): View more from New York City

its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.

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(917): its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny. http://tfl.nu/2ipn

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(201): View more from New Jersey

At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old

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(201): At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old http://tfl.nu/03p8

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(210): View more from Texas

I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on

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(210): I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on http://tfl.nu/6saa

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(815): View more from Illinois

it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.

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(815): it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries. http://tfl.nu/kdps

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(206): View more from Washington

I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.

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(206): I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well. http://tfl.nu/k69f

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(316): View more from Kansas

Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.

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(316): Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip. http://tfl.nu/doru

Replies (12) Good night (2457) Bad night (485)
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(316): View more from Kansas

This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.

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(316): This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school. http://tfl.nu/crw7

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(620): View more from Kansas

He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.

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(620): He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me. http://tfl.nu/rk0r

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(206): View more from Washington

I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.

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(206): I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something. http://tfl.nu/vmm1

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.

(1-612): View more from Minnesota

Are you really alive right now?

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(612): Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath. (1-612): Are you really alive right now? http://tfl.nu/b3cy

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...

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(204): Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"... http://tfl.nu/0fub

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