I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.