ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
