it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
