I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
