It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
