I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
