george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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