Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she looked like the before picture.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
