Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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