i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize