haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
