so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
