Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
