How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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