The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize