Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
How does one acquire holy water?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
