can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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