I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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