Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
