i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
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