k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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