Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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