So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
