Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
