they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
