He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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