Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
