someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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