ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
