Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
