I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
