my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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