So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
