No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
