Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I need to sanitize my soul.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
