hotel room ftw
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
