there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
