im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
