Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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