Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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