Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
