Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
