we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
