Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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