just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
