smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
