These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
