your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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