drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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