My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
