I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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