Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
