This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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