Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
