Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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