He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
