Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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